Introverts are Normal, Too

There's that person at your work who doesn't say much. Hold a brainstorming session, and their mouth stays calm. Ask for their ideas, and they seem to have none, until you receive an e-mail two days later. Invite them to the bar with the rest of the gang, and you'll have one less drink to buy. Invite them for a one-on-one, though, and they might accept.

This most likely is an introvert, and if you aren't one, you may well wonder what is wrong with them. "'Don't you like people?' is a common remark introverts hear, says Marti Laney, a psychologist and the author of The Introvert Advantage." I quote an article from Psychology Today by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D., based on studies about introverts. "'Usually we like people fine,'" Laney insists. "'We just like them in small doses.'"

Helgoe makes some points managers and teammates of introverts who aren't introverted themselves should keep in mind. For example, shy and introverted are not synonyms. Helgoe explains, "An introvert and a shy person might be standing against the wall at a party, but the introvert prefers to be there, while the shy individual feels she has no choice."

The world does not divide cleanly into introverts and extraverts. "There are a few extremely extraverted folk, and a few extreme introverts, while most of us share some extravert and some introvert traits," Helgoe writes. There's nothing wrong with introverts, and extraverts are not "most people." If you are extraverted and try to change an introvert to act more like you, you are practicing a form of discrimination.

The differences are visible in the brain, Helgoe reports. "In a classic series of studies, researchers mapped brain electrical activity in introverts and extraverts. The introverts all had higher levels of electrical activity… whether in a resting state or engaged in challenging cognitive tasks." That means introverts need to limit outside stimulation to maintain an optimum level of activity, while extraverts need to increase it. In the same way, introverts do not require external rewards to the same degree as extraverts. Studies have also shown that introverts have greater blood flow "in the frontal cortex, responsible for remembering, planning, decision making, and problem solving—the kinds of activities that require inward focus and attention," and in "a region associated with speech production—likely reflecting the capacity for self-talk," Helgoe says.

The question of whether the introvert is contributing to your team must rest on the amount and quality of contribution, not the quickness. Helgoe writes, "Introverts like to think before responding—many prefer to think out what they want to say in advance—and seek facts before expressing opinions." Whether or not their feedback is timely is usually the requestor's fault, not the introvert's. Some decisions have to be made instantly, but the vast majority of important business decisions can and should allow time for reflection by everyone on the team.

Helgoe makes one mistake in claiming 50 percent of people in the U.S. are introverts. She bases this on results from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, apparently unaware that Myers-Briggs forces people into one category or another. That is, if you are 51 percent introverted on MBTI, it classifies you as an introvert. So with all of us evenly distributed on the continuum from introverted to extraverted, you would expect MBTI to split us 50-50. My guess is that most research psychologists would only call someone an introvert or extravert if they fell into the extreme one-quarter or third on either end. But the point remains that there are just as many of one as the other. The extraverts simply get more attention, because they want to.

When dealing with someone more introverted than you, I suggest you:

• Ask one question at a time, per Psychology Today's Matthew Hutson at the end of Helgoe's article: "'Extraverts think we have answers but just aren't giving them,' Laney says. 'They don't understand we need time to formulate them' and often won't talk until a thought is suitably polished."
• "Don't interrupt if an introvert does get to talking…" Helgoe says. "Introverts are unlikely to repeat themselves." In other words, learn and practice active listening skills.
• Plan meetings to allow time for introverts. Add possible problems as agenda items as soon as they come up; send agendas out at least 24 hours in advance along with background materials; and set action items for people to provide post-meeting feedback before making decisions final.
• Don't act like there is something wrong with acting introverted. Hutson says, "Many introverts are happy with the way they are. And if you're not, that's your problem."

The burden of maintaining good working relations does not fall completely on extraverts, of course. If you are more introverted than most:

• Say so. If a decision is coming too fast for your comfort level, make yourself ask for time to think about it.
• Push yourself when required. Some decisions do have to be made quickly. Before trying to slow one down, ask why the deadline was chosen and do the best you can if the timing makes sense.
• Monitor your self-criticism. Helgoe reports that "introverts are more self-critical than others—but also more realistic in their self-assessments." That's okay, but bad-mouthing yourself around extraverts could lower their opinions of you more than the facts warrant.
• Control your criticism. It's as easy to think an extravert "talks too much" or "never thinks anything through" as it is for extraverts to make mean assumptions about you. "Scientists now know that… introverts have no special advantage in intelligence," Helgoe points out.

I am an introvert who loves sitting in a library going through studies. I am extraverted enough that I enjoy giving energetic, joke-cracking team speeches. Both sides of my personality add value in the workplace, I believe. Both personality types add value in yours.

Action Item: Pick one of the items from the bullet lists above that applies to you. Jot down a specific, measurable step you will take in the next month to address that issue and e-mail that goal to someone you trust to hold you accountable.

Source: Helgoe, L. (2010), "Revenge of the Introvert," Psychology Today, 09/01/10, http://www.psychologytoday.com/node/46944.

Post by Jim Morgan, Team Coach, TeamTrainers Consulting.